Why this title for my blog?

I was asked why this title for my blog, it seemed so cruel!

At times I wish my mum could forget all her troubles.. forget the fact that she could not recall a thing. Her current predicament of  not having friends and relatives around made me feel so sorry for her.  My mum had always been an independent woman.  She had only a handful she calls friends but I feel they are mere  acquaintances.  She could remember names but when she sees them she has no memory of who they are.

One friend brought her hurriedly home before the lunch appointment, and simply dropped her off without saying a word.  Later I would call to ask how it went cos I was wondering why did she come home so quickly.  the friend asked "why her memory so bad.. she does not know who I am". Well it's bad because she has Alzheimer's and I did warn her that my mum might forget who she is.

My naive self thought that if she had gone out  with a friend, that friend would show more concern and empathy, despite the fact that it's hard to communicate with a person with dementia. Just small talk and jokes could help distract my mum from her fears. Just Try???

But it's the disgust on her face that shocked me.

Sometimes I would ask a friend or relation to accompany me to the mall with mum, a little get together time to help create a happy day for mum.  Though she might not remember who they are but at least spending time eating and laughing might be good!   Unfortunately relation and friends whom I have shared  my mum's condition with would say "She might get bored cos I will take a long while to decide when I shop",  "What if she does not know who I am, what to talk about?".

Those statements made me feel so obligated to ask for their help. I felt like I am intruding and for the most part now I have shared less or not at all.  These comments are not a one time thing. Sometimes I feel I might have misunderstood them, thus I will ask again and I will always give it a third try.

Disappointment after disappointment... I have decided to rely on myself and will try arrange Day Care for mum... strangers can prove to be better friends.

What irks me is they often talk about their desire to volunteer for the elderly. huh!